Detroit Real Estate

Don't you hate cancer

I was sitting here on Sunday night blogging away.  I wrote that night just to talk.  Blogging has become my way of talking.  Not talking to anybody in particular but a way of venting sometimes.  I am trying to spend more time at home lately.  I used to be a work a holic.  But my life has changed quite a bit in the last 6 months.  My wife was re diagnosed with cancer.  She had it radiated and we thought we were through the woods.  But in February she was told she had to go through chemo again.

I have seen my wife that was vibrant, energetic, and full of life reduced to laying on the couch for days and weeks at a time.  My wife that used to love to eat, barely eat.  The cancer eats at both of us.  She suffers the most from it, but it affects me too.

I can't do anything to help her ,but be by her.  I have to be the positive one.  I have to try to keep her spirits up while she is puking her guts up.  I have to quietly arrange friend visits to keep her spirits up.  (Our friends are great!)  I have to tell her not to go to events because she is too sick.  My wife like all good Italian ladies has a sense of social duty to make all family events.  Even though she is too sick.

I even took her along with me to Chicago last week when I went to Active Rain rain camp.  She was miserable the whole ride.  I thought it would cheer her up to see our son Ryan.  But it barely made a change in her attitude.

My wife's fire is gone at the moment.  She doesn't even get upset when she finds out I am behind the cancellations or the friend visits.  I can only sit and watch her being sick.  I hate cancer... I want my wife just to feel better.   I want to see her smile, not the false smile I see now.  I want to see the old smile of my Marianne.  i hate cancer.